I’m a Pink-O!

According to this somewhat outdated political personality quiz, I am apparently a flaming, Piss-Christ-swilling, bleeding-heart (as in those of aborted foetuses) commie liberal. Or, to put it more scientifically, an ’11’. Who knew? It seems this practically puts me in bed with Hilary Clinton (so a long way away from Bill of course), here depicted in her scary first-term nut-muncher incarnation. Jesse Jackson is as liberal you can get at ‘0’ and Ronald Reagan as right as you can get at ’40’.

I must say I’m shocked. I have a soft spot for conservatives because they’re generally not as preachy and whiny as the liberals, even if I disagree with them most of the time. And when they do get preachy it’s that “you motherfuckers are going to burn” old-time religion preachy, not that “feel bad about how your selfish greed and western imperialism impoverishes the starving, Tomahawk-bombarded, ecologically devastated people of Fuckedoverabarrelistan,” guilt-ridden preachy. Plus I spent most of my educational life in institutions with a decidedly liberal consensus where a conservative mindset had the appeal of contrarian dissent. I like big trucks and red meat and I think Alan Keyes is the most entertaining stand-up comic since Lenny Bruce. So it’s very upsetting to discover that I am in fact a liberal, even if it’s only on the issues. Such is life. Pass the tofu-laced granola bar and break out the bongos. Let’s get this whale-saving, tree-hugging show on the road (in a hybrid of course).

Explore posts in the same categories: Know Thyself

2 Comments on “I’m a Pink-O!”

  1. Dan Goldman Says:

    Ha! I’m a 12! I new I was more conserative that you!

    You’re a lilly-livered, pinko-commie, peace loving hippie and so am I! To be fair, I always said you were a liberal. You just despise our side more than the others ’cause you’re a normal, rational human being, capable of balancing (or at least understanding) both sides of an argument and SO MANY of the people who share our ideals, are not.

    Ah well, what’s a conservative-progressive to do? That is, someone who generally subcribes to the so-called Progressive agenda, but would like to get there without the bullying and fiscal irresponsibility often seen in previous liberal governments. (Not to be confused with progressive-conservatives, those neocons, paleocons, theocons and other conservatives who want to remake the world in their image.)

  2. […] I promise to ease up on the Shakesperean references, haste-poste-haste.) For it turns out that the political personality quiz I took a few days ago was nothing but an exercise in callous auto-calumny. How do I know? I took […]

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